Is Self-Care Really Just Selfish?
In one of the men’s groups with which I’m engaged we’re taking a slow walk through J.I. Packer’s classic, Knowing God.
When we came to the end of the chapter on “God’s Jealousy” it stimulated a provocative discussion of his “praiseworthy zeal” for his own glory and that his jealousy requires that we have zeal for God. Packer also says that this “threatens churches that are not zealous for him.” (Packer, IVP, 1973, p. 156 ff.)
In our journey in ministry we spent a few decades trying to live out an understanding of godly zeal which we mostly “picked up” from heroic stories: missionaries and pastors we knew, missionary biographies, and so on. In the mix was some clear hagiography, even to my not so discerning eye. Throughout this time we encountered or were engaged with groups that put zeal for Christ above self in the most admirable as well as the most foolish ways. When we were introduced to the concept of “self-care” during our first ever sabbatical after 26 years in ministry it put a name and statistical data to the deep fatigue, the sense of being spent and with no reserves—the empty well—that we were experiencing. We learned that a staggering number of pastors do not rightly care for the vessel God has given them and they are slowly ruining their health by neglecting proper rest, living in constant stress, with little to no exercise, and an unhealthy diet.
Not surprisingly their marriages also suffered, as well as their relationship with their kids. We found that many pastors have an addictive relationship to the work of ministry—they never stop working. There is no weekly rhythm for personal spiritual renewal and sabbath. Sermon preparation becomes a substitute for personal fellowship and humble application of the gospel to one’s own heart with Christ in his word. As I’ve reflected elsewhere in these posts, our culture rewards all this behavior because it appears to “get results.” It looks “successful.” And of course it feeds reputations.
This is why I believe one of the most important things we can do within the vehicle of Provisions Group and our circle of relationships is to advocate for, as well as provide space for self-care.
We’ve learned that to “get it” it must be experienced, and modeled for pastoral couples. How can we as pastors help to foster spiritual renewal, a life of resilient faith, and healthy life rhythms when we are modeling the same stressed out, anxious lifestyle of the world? We’ve learned that it takes getting completely outside of one’s ministry context long enough to disconnect from the high voltage we’re plugged into to see clearly again.
How can we as pastors help to foster spiritual renewal, a life of resilient faith, and healthy life rhythms when we are modeling the same stressed out, anxious lifestyle of the world?
I recently heard Pete Scazerro interviewed about his forthcoming book, Emotionally Healthy Success during which he pointed out that this is not just a problem of American or Western culture. He told of meeting Korean pastors working 100 hour weeks until they drop, at which time they checked into the hospital to be given intravenous treatment so that they could keep going.
I once spoke to a group of church planters at a conference in a huge church in the East.
I was asked by a couple of the many assistant pastors what I would be speaking about. My answer was essentially what you have read here and among our posts. I was told more than once, “this is so needed in [our] culture!” The church was incredibly successful in all the ways we think of that. They had thousands of members. The building and facilities were beautifully designed and executed—spacious and super-well equipped. They had a deep staffing bench, and dozens of programs—but it was one of the most anxious leadership systems I’ve ever encountered.
So how do we rightly understand “godly zeal” for God’s glory and the advance of the kingdom of Christ in the light of our limitations as men and women?
In our next post I’ll share reflections on the stories of Robert Murray M’Cheyne and George Whitefield…
