Redemptive Remembrance, Part II
At the end of 2024 I started rereading and reflecting on what I was surprised to discover is fourteen volumes of journals of varying sizes and kinds dating back to 1981. In a box somewhere, exiled to storage, there may be others from before Karen and I married. This was all inspired by reading about the prayer journals of Hudson Taylor after finishing university. My journals include years of reflections in Scripture, prayers, and recorded significant transitions, like when we answered a call to Ireland. What stands out to me as I look back, and “reflect on my reflections”, is how much I needed to grow up. It is humbling to think that God condescended to use me in his kingdom when I was so immature.
You’re only young once but you can be immature for a lifetime.
—Sign on the wall of the Bozeman Trail Steakhouse
Buffalo, Wyoming
So I’ve embarked on a project recently that has pushed me into routines that I pray will contribute to wisdom, growth, and maturity. My prayer is that it will be of use beyond myself for the benefit and encouragement of others.
Which brings me to the subject of coaching.
My project immediately reminded me that a surprising number of pastors we know are not naturally high-structured people. I’ve learned that this entails not simply the struggles one most easily recognizes. (i.e. “You’re not very organized, are you?”). There are also strengths associated with that trait. How can that be? My natural tendency is to believe that it is all negative. Here’s what I’ve learned:
A person who is unstructured functions quite comfortably, even thrives, in contexts that lack preexisting structures, routines, and predictability or constant change—such as church planting and foreign mission. Those situations can create genuine angst in some people but to an unstructured person it’s their sweet spot.
But this also means they have to learn how to create structure where it doesn’t already exist, to be organized, and rightly discern critical sequence of operation. Perhaps even more importantly it means learning to communicate details clearly and concisely with people who are structured and detail oriented. It is actually fun and freeing to respect and genuinely appreciate these differences and how crucial each kind of person is to getting things done. It also honors God to honor others in that way. This has been central to our coaching. Learning this doesn’t come from getting concepts from a book or going to a conference, as helpful as they can be. Learning this takes trust, time, practice, repetition, and feedback. That is what the dynamic of a coaching relationship is, and it is powerful for growth and change.
Maturity, especially emotional maturity, is not a given just because we’ve learned scripture and systematic theology. It can eventually come to us through hard experience, but there is a trail (trial?) of hurt and disappointment in that process. Our prayer is to be of help to men and women in ministry who want to attend to this part of the Lord’s training. May he open every door for us to do so in 2025.
